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Kathy spoke up, "I checked with the Chief of Accounting, boss. He agreed that, in this case, it is allowable under the category of 'Special Clothing - wearable only on assignment.' They opened a charge account in the name of his alias. Here's the card, Ted."
Ted examined the plastic closely. It was standard Ameribank card, except for some fine print at the bottom: "Special Government Account. Payment Guaranteed by U.S. Treasury." One agent had used such a card to charter a jumbo jet (the only plane available) to pursue a foreign spy fleeing with the blueprints of our latest missile submarine. Since the documents had been recovered, the expense was approved-it was re- sults that counted. Ted signed the card and inserted it into his wallet.
"Now, be careful to use it only for women's things,” Kathy warned, "or our computer will dock the bill from your paycheck."
"Excellent. Kathy!" Harry beamed, "That solves that problem. Get anything you need in skirts, Ted.”
Kathy produced a sheet of paper from her purse. "Here's something else to help you, Ted. I translated your body measurements chart into ladies' clothing sizes. Sixteen dress, 36C bra, size 9 shoes, and so on."
Harry was proud of his secretary's efficiency. "Good thinking, girl We don't want our agent wasting the taxpayers' money on clothes that don't fit."
Ted folded the paper and slipped it into the wallet next to the credit card. He had completed dressing and snapped his suitcase shut. "I see the plane leaves at two. Just enough time to get to the airport and have lunch."
“Er-Ted, do you realize there's a bulge under your jacket?” Kathy reminded him.
Ted looked down at his chest and turned beet red. Harry gave him a funny look.
"Guess I was in too much of a hurry," Ted suggested sheepishly as he reached inside his shirt and removed the rubber artifacts, tucking them into his pockets.
Harry checked his watch. "Gee, it's later than I thought. I would be
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